We hear this all the time: “Just forgive them.” “You will feel better.” But what if you don’t? What if forgiving someone seems more like pressure than peace? Do you feel like you’re doing emotional gymnastics to appear to be the “bigger person”? If you have ever felt this way, you are not alone. And you’re not mistaken.
Forgiving other feels like a pressure
Forgiveness is the Pressure Nobody Talks About. In American society, we are taught to respect freedom, generosity, and progress. We are told that letting go and forgiving others makes us stronger, as if it were a medal of honor. However, forgiveness is not always as simple. Being told to forgive can feel like being told to:
Being told to forgive can feel like being told to: Ignore the hurt! Minimize what occurred. Let somebody off the hook. Sometimes, that feels wrong.
what is the real meaning of Forgiving others
when we are hurt by others actions, wheather it’s a lover , co worker, boss , family dosen’t matter, something shatter in the heart. It takes time to heal it sometimes years,
forgiving those who did wrong in the past is not for others but for yourself. True forgiveness always frees you. It takes you out of the pain .The sorrowful incident will always stays but you will be able to face it without being emotional. But this is not easy , because you have to be more powerful, forgiveness in reality is a state of mind.
Becoming the bigger person is not always fair to yourself
There’s this belief that taking the high road makes you stronger. But have you ever observed that the high road is frequently the loneliest? You are left to deal with the pain, do the emotional labor, and pretend everything is fine — while the other person moves on without ever making things right. It’s not about holding grudges. It’s about holding yourself together while pretending their actions didn’t have the same impact on you.
forgiving others dosen’t mean you are ok inside
Have you ever been in a situation where someone hurt you and you tried to speak up, but they said, “I thought you forgave me?” It’s manipulative, and it’s common. Some people use forgiveness to evade responsibility. They seek the advantages of your grace without doing the work to earn it. That’s not true healing. You’re doing emotional work that they should have done themselves. Forgiveness under duress does not feel liberating – it feels like emotional gaslighting.
You are the owner of your own emotions
Forgiveness is powerful. But you don’t owe it to anyone. You can do: Forgive while still setting boundaries. Forgive, and never speak to them again. Choose not to forgive at all—and that is also valid. You get to choose what healing looks like for you.
Forgiving others easily dosen’t make you weak
If forgiveness is difficult right now, try this: Focus on healing, not mending. Journal about how you truly feel (no filters). Speak with a therapist or someone you trust. Allow yourself to not be okay yet. You don’t need to rush it. You do not have to pretend. You just need to be honest with yourself. Only A person with pure soul can forgive others.Do you want to know if you have a pure soul then you can checkout it:
https://riseofthetimelords.com/5-signs-you-have-a-pure-soul/
Forgiveness should feel like freedom, not pressure.If it feels like a burden, maybe it’s not time yet — and that’s okay.You’re allowed to take your time. You’re allowed to heal on your own terms.You’re allowed to not forgive until your soul feels ready — if ever.Because in the end, healing isn’t about them. It’s about you.